Mommy–ing is hard, but that is not the really bad part. The bad part is that you never get a day off, ever. And that can get you down.
Do not get me wrong. I love my kids. More than anything else in the world, except maybe Husband. But some days I wish I could drop them off somewhere and collect the following week. Some days are just harder than others, and granted some days are more rewarding than others, that still does not make the really HARD days better.
The hard days make me a fire-breathing dragon, and it takes all of my strength not to be mean to the kids. I know that they don’t mean to be annoying, it’s just kind of part of growing up. And it is not their fault that I am annoyed (although it is mostly their fault that I am tired) but dam I then so wish they will grow up faster. Just to be of an age that they will understand that Mommy needs some quiet time, alone time, or just plain time.
I am not a single mother. I have an awesome support network spanning from 2 caring Grandmothers and a Granddad to a great Grandmother, a husband who does his share (sometimes even more) and employees who help when I can’t get to everything. Over and above that I am blessed with a full-time nanny, who is like a second mother to my 2 kids. She knows them as well as I do, and can anticipate their needs before even they know what they want. Still that does not change the fact that I am their mother, and that role is pretty important. Even when all of these awesome people are around, once they are hurt or tired or hungry or irritated, Mommy must come running. And Murphy, being alive and thriving in our household, ensures that both of the kids will need mommy at the same time, in different parts of the house. For example, A1 will want to go to the bathroom, at the exact same time that A2 wants to drink (I breastfeed). Or, A2 would want to sleep at the exact same time that A1 wants to sing me her new song, at the top of her lungs. Accompanied by drums and guitar. That is just the examples from the last 40 minutes… This can be exhausting, especially when the two’s sleeping schedule is not aligned, and Daddy also wants some attention. Oh and I always have work to do. That leaves me feeling spread really really thin.
So what do you do, since you can’t take off every time you feel overwhelmed? You vent to your best friend (also a new mommy with 2 kids roughly the same age as mine), you drink a strong cup of coffee, and then you feel super guilty that you ever had any negative thoughts about your little angels when A1 wraps her arms tightly around my neck and says very definitely “I love you Mammy, you are my best”.